If you’re looking for a pick-me-up or just a good laugh, here are the best celebrity mom quotes that you need to read right now.
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Being a mom is everything from hearts and rainbows to pure survival and will power. Sometimes a Mama just needs a little humor to get her through the day and nothing is better than reading hilarious celebrity mom quotes that are super relatable.
This post has funny celebrity mom quotes from individuals like Kristen Bell, Jessica Alba, Mila Kunis, and Amy Schumer that you won’t be able to help but laugh out loud. Now take a few minutes for yourself and enjoy!
Celebrity Mom Quotes:
“I’m trying to raise good human beings. So far, all I’ve accomplished is raising kids who won’t stop talking.” – Mila Kunis
“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon
“You know you’re a mom when you stop questioning why there’s peanut butter on everything.” – Kristen Bell
“Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, it’s for us?” – Alyson Hannigan
“Being a mom means having to get creative with your excuses, like pretending you don’t know where the cookies went.” – Jenna Bush Hager
“I’ve conquered a lot of things… parenting wasn’t one of them.” – Chelsea Handler
“There’s a level of exhaustion that only mothers can understand. I call it ‘mom tired,’ and it’s different from regular tired. It’s like you’ve been hit by a truck, but then that truck is also your child.” – Melissa McCarthy
“I don’t have it all together. But I’ve learned to accept it, laugh at it, and then hide in the bathroom for five minutes.” – Blake Lively
“Mothers are basically part detective, part therapist, and part cleaning service.” – Julia Roberts
“I thought I’d know what I was doing by kid #3. I don’t.” – Jessica Alba
“Being a mom means I constantly have a tiny person asking for snacks, even though they just ate five minutes ago.” – Gwyneth Paltrow
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller
“Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.” – Tina Fey
“Sleep at this point is just a concept. Something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” – Amy Poehler
“Being a mom means I have to be on high alert at all times — like a superhero, but with more mess.” – Megan Fox
“My daughter just lost her first tooth, and the Tooth Fairy paid out $20. So the cost of living crisis is real in Fairyland too.” – Serena Williams
“The quickest way for a mom to go to sleep is to lay down ‘just for a second’ while putting her kids to bed.” – Ali Wong
“Before I had kids, I thought I had my life together. Now, I’m just happy if I remember to brush my hair.” – Mila Kunis
“Motherhood is like being in the military. There’s no vacation, no sick days, and definitely no sleep.” – Kourtney Kardashian
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. But perfect dinners? Forget it!” – Jill Churchill
“Sometimes I wish I had the wisdom of a mom and the energy of a toddler.” – Olivia Wilde
“Being a mom means sometimes you have to stop and cry in the bathroom. But then you get back out there and do it again!” – Courtney Cox
“Parenthood is an endless loop of saying, ‘Brush your teeth,’ and then wondering if it’s worth the fight.” – Drew Barrymore
“If you’re not just a little bit late for everything after having kids, are you even a mom?” – Blake Lively
“You know you’re a mom when you have to use your own spit to clean someone else’s face.” – Kate Winslet
“Every day, I wake up and think, ‘How am I going to keep these tiny humans alive today?’” – Kristen Bell
“Motherhood: When you realize you can survive without sleep but not without coffee.” – Sandra Bullock
“Having kids made me realize how much I took sitting down for granted.” – Amy Schumer
“Kids don’t really need parents. They just need something to wipe their hands on.” – Sarah Millican
“I used to be cool. Now I yell things like, ‘Stop licking the window!’” – Ali Wong
“Becoming a mom means you stop caring about crumbs on the floor and start caring about who left the refrigerator open.” – Chrissy Teigen
“I know how to do anything—I’m a mom.” – Roseanne Barr
“People always say, ‘It’s so great to have a kid because it’s like having a mini version of yourself.’ Yeah, no thanks. I was a terrible person.” – Whitney Cummings
“Being a mom has made me feel more confident than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Like, I’m confident in the fact that I am not doing it right all the time.” – Jessica Alba
“I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat my lunch. I’m a mom. I love my kids, but I also just want to have lunch alone.” – Tina Fey
“Being a mom means juggling 14 things at once, usually while hiding in the bathroom to eat chocolate.” – Kourtney Kardashian
“I don’t know how people do it with more than one kid. I can barely handle the one.” – Chrissy Teigen
“Being a mom is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how to do it.” – Kate Hudson
“There’s no such thing as ‘getting it all done.’ I think the biggest thing for me is the acknowledgment that this is a juggling act. It’s not about doing everything right all the time.” – Kristen Bell
“Being a mom isn’t easy. Sometimes I look at my kid and think, ‘Is that what I look like when I cry about absolutely nothing?’” – Nikki Glaser
“You know, being a mom, it’s kind of like being a boss. You have to make the tough decisions and also act like you have everything together when you’re probably just as clueless as everyone else.” – Cameron Diaz
“My kids are going to grow up thinking that the whole world revolves around their schedules. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to change my entire day because of nap time.” – Drew Barrymore
“I never get sleep, so I have no idea how I even survive sometimes. Like, am I functioning on caffeine or pure willpower?” – Kim Kardashian
“It’s like you’re trying to get all your responsibilities together in a weird, strange balancing act. You’re like, ‘I love you. I want to be with you. I need you to be in a different room now.” – Kate Hudson
“Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You kind of want to be really sure before you do it.” – Jenna Fischer
“Motherhood is basically just choosing which battles you can win in a day.” – Sarah Silverman
“Being a mom is like being a superhero, except you’re exhausted all the time, you have no special powers, and no one thanks you.” – Tiffany Haddish
“I always say that kids should come with a warning label: ‘May cause unexpected tears and permanent exhaustion.’” – Kate McKinnon
Celebrity Dad Quotes About Moms:
“My wife is a lot better at parenting than I am. She’s much more organized and patient. I’m like the fun uncle who tries to keep up, but usually just falls asleep on the couch.” – Chris D’Elia
“I’m a great dad, but I’m a terrible mom. I do all the dad things—show up, sit around, make jokes—but I can’t handle the whole ‘taking care of everyone’ thing. That’s my wife’s job.” – Will Ferrell
“Being a dad is one of the best jobs you can have. But it’s also the job with the least vacation days and no pay. No wonder moms never want to leave the house.” – Adam Sandler
“Moms are always the ones who know where everything is. Dads, on the other hand, are always pretending like they know where the kid’s homework is, just to avoid the guilt trip.” – John Legend
“Moms are like superheroes, but dads are more like sidekicks. We try our best, but we’re mostly just trying to get things done while looking cool.” – Paul Rudd
“My wife and I are great parents when it comes to making big decisions like what kind of car to buy or what school to send the kids to. But we both know it’s really the moms who run the show.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“My wife, she does everything. I just try to help out. The way I help out is by staying out of the way.” – Mark Wahlberg
“I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s also the primary breadwinner, so I’m very proud of that. I do all the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning… well, let me be clear: I don’t do any of that.” – Will Ferrell (on his wife’s role in raising their kids)
This post was all about funny celebrity mom quotes.
